Home » Let’s Get Cozy – 5 Things to Consider When Creating A Soft Place to Land

Let’s Get Cozy – 5 Things to Consider When Creating A Soft Place to Land

Let this be your sign to softly land, rest and restore your nervous system.

Coziness is the crisp morning air breezing through the tiny crack of my window as I slowly start my day cuddled under a blanket. It’s the warmth I feel when my nervous system is calm and my soul is content. This is not by happenstance. It takes commitment and consistent, intentional actions. Embracing cozy is maintaining our physical, emotional and mental space. We can get all the massages and spa treatments. Decorate our home aesthetically, drink green juice out of wine glasses and do any and everything to create ambiance. But how long will that give us the high?

To be clear – I am a fan of all these things and think they are an important component to making our lives comfortable and cozy.

HOWEVER

Humans beings are driven by our emotional needs. Contrary to popular belief, we rarely do things “just because”. So while my cozy lifestyle explores aesthetic decor and romanticizing my life, it also prioritizes the inner work. It’s about:

  1. Authenticity – There is nothing like the warmth, peace and calmness that comes with showing up as who I am no matter the situation. Society forces labels on us from such a young age that as we grow it just becomes a part of our identity and we chalk it up to “just who we are”. It’s time we strip away the labels.
  2. Vulnerability – I’m a recovering hyper independent woman. This means that once upon a time I glorified being able to do everything myself. But as an adult, I have to remind myself that the world is not out to get me. Good people exist and more importantly I’ll always remain in control of how and who I share my space and energy with. I have spent much of my life focusing on growing the parts of myself I could depend on which at times led me to a lonely place at times and left me exhausted. One of the things I’ve learned about myself in recent years is that at my core, I want to experience being taken care of and safe enough to take care of someone else without worry or concern of being hurt in the process.
  3. Physical Space – Okay, here’s the deal. I am 1000% affected by my space. Clutter, dirt and bad smells is a sure way to mess up my ENTIRE mood and day. If I’m going to do the inner work, I need to do it in a plush spot, cuddling my pooch, listening to Nina Simone while burning a candle (I love anything amber, vanilla, sandalwood). Now I know I said before that true coziness is the inner work. And it is, but it can’t hurt to get the job done in a pretty, inviting space.
  4. Feeding my soul – I’ve spent all of my 20s making decisions STRICTLY from a rationale / logical place. What is the stable job? What will make everyone comfortable? I need to save money and not blow it on this, that and the third. But as I’m sitting here in my mid 30s, one thing I wish I knew sooner and I’m so glad I know now is “enjoy the moments the here and now”. So I’m intentionally looking to create the moments that feed my soul. What does that look like currently?
    • Once a week calls with one of my favorite ladies… my grandma
    • Planning trips (solo and with others) in advance so I have something to look forward to
    • Structuring my mornings. Starting my day with a coffee, my five minute journal and some peace. It gives me time to wake up, space to think and permission to take it slow.
    • Prioritizing other aspects of my life where independence is not the focus, community is.
  5. Safety – Learning to trust myself and those around me to show up, be consistent and respect my boundaries.

Getting cozy is a promise to myself to heal by being my own safe space, making my nervous system my top priority and keeping my soul happy.

I also want this for you. To YOU:

The person that is trying to do it all, expected to do it all,

The strong one in their friend group,

The hyper independent individual who “doesn’t need anyone”.

The one that believes they can only rely on themselves.

Please know you are safe, you are loved, you can trust yourself. I invite you to embrace the cozy life with me. Let this space and tiny corner of the internet be your permission to softly land and exhale.

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